Good things:
- Went to the Birmingham annual vintage fair yesterday at the Custard Factory with Jen and her dippy housemate, whose name still escapes me...also discovered loads more gorgeous vintage shops while down there, which I will attempt to visit another day when it is not pissing it down with rain
- Got free cupcakes at said vintage fair
- Let my hair go curly today for the first time in yonks (mainly due to lack of GHDs at Marcus's house) and am actually feeling pretty good about it - my flatmate is convinced I had it properly styled at a hairdresser's. ah vanity.
- The paternal one is sending me to Selfridges this friday with a 20% off voucher to buy his Christmas presents for the maternal one...me likes shopping with other people's money, especially in Selfridges...maybe I should become a personal shopper.

Bad things:
- Got soaked through in the rain walking back to New Street from Digbeth (umbrella was also completely destroyed by hideous galeforce winds) - spent the last 24 hours at Marcus's wearing his clothes while I waited for mine to dry
- My socks and jeans have now consequently gone all crusty and gross, and I have no change for the washing machine - getting change involves either going to speak to Daisy, queen of bitchiness, or going across the road to the Shell garage in the cold and rain with all the gangsters staring at me from their massive square cars; neither are particularly appealing to me
- My mother thinks I am fat and has actually offered to pay for my gym membership so I can lose weight. Yeah...she wouldn't pay for my bloody driving test, but this she offers help for...
- Have been feeling hideously moody the last few days and everyone cool in halls has gone home, so have therefore been practically living at Marcus's, but have been fairly quiet and moody which I think was bothering him a bit...I think he was convinced he'd done something to piss me off, which wasn't true at all, but now I feel guilty for making him think that...if that makes sense. Which it probably doesn't.

Also a little old lady swore at me on the train back to Selly Oak yesterday...not sure whether that's good or bad really; bad because in my book sweet little old pensioners should not be going around swearing at the "youth of today", as opposed to blaming them for all society's problems, but on the other hand, being told to "fuck off out the way" by a woman in her seventies who was even shorter than little old 5'2" me was also fairly humorous. Oh well. Only in Birmingham.

Have also set myself the target of losing a stone and a half by March, which will probably never happen, but if I've got free gym membership I might as well try...plus have been looking up some Rosemary Conley recipes and some of them look bloody gorgeous, I need to start cooking nice things again as opposed to just eating cheesy pasta all the time. God no wonder I'm podgy.

Also applied for loads of jobs as I am officially broke. Am very much hoping I get the one working at the Clothes Show...free clothes and 20% discount, yes please. Plus it would probably be considerably less soul-destroying than working in the Selly Sausage on Bristol Road.

Bleh, it's essay crisis time again...the stupid thing's due in tomorrow and I know fuck all about the subject in question, largely because I only switched to this module a couple of weeks ago and thus missed most of the lectures, and the lecture notes online are just plain shit. I actually feel like crying because I haven't got a fucking clue what to put...I went to the bookshop this morning and they didn't have any books left, I went to the library and they didn't have any either...so I've been desperately wikipedia-ing it and trying to find all the online articles I can get my hands on, but there's barely anything useful there, nowhere near enough to write 2000 words on.

It's bloody depressing too - seriously, who finds Neanderthal burials interesting? It's just plain weird.

So yeah, today sucked. I keep having to look at the picture of the dress I ordered for the Spring Ball, it brings my blood pressure right down. The only good thing about today was finding tickets for a The Sounds gig in Sheffield...however, none of my mates have heard of them and are thus a bit unwilling to come all the way to Sheffield with me to see them. I'm considering just going it alone; I've loved that band for yonks and I've waited nearly two years for an opportunity to see them live. That's unless anyone here fancies it, that is...?

Right, I have a rather sizeable packet of Hobnobs and the kettle on standby should tea be required. Looks like it's going to be a long night :(

Oh I want this dress so badly...why must you be £55?? *cries*



Might request it for my birthday later this year, if it's still available then. In the meantime however, I did purchase a rather lovely red dress from Primark off ebay yesterday, which I am very much looking forward to receiving.

Snow day yesterday was pretty awesome - our halls had a snowball fight of epic proportions against Bridges Hall, which got pretty ugly...then people just started turning on people going in and out of Childs whether they were involved in the fight or not. This was mainly why I decided not to go to my eleven o'clock lecture; partly because I was having way too much fun to go anywhere, but also because I'd have got absolutely decimated by the ruthless snowball-throwers.

I also have a photo of Andy sitting astride a giant snow penis someone fashioned on the quad, which was quite possibly one of the funniest things I've ever seen, he looked like he was enjoying it far too much. Oh, and I nearly fell out of my window trying to take a few Polaroids of the snow...that wasn't quite so funny, seeing as I live on the third floor.

Marcus is coming down in three days :D I just want it to be Friday now...then Devon the week after, which I'm looking forward to so much it's actually ridiculous, because I get to see both Marcus and my family at the same time. I booked my train tickets last night so it's all official now, I'm definitely going :) Just got to get through the week, really...need to do more laundry because I've run out of pants again, and the absolute filth pit that is my room needs tidying.

Today I went on an adventure to Oxford with Hayley and Sarah; we went to a couple of the free museums and walked around a few of the colleges and generally enjoyed feeling like commoners. We also did an epic amount of shopping between us; I now have a new purple jumper dress from Topshop, an Alice in Wonderland T-shirt which is officially the cutest thing ever, a little red heart-shaped bowl and a postcard for my wall.

Twas a very good day; I love my girlies muchly. I also took the Polaroid so we had a lot of fun messing around taking silly photos. Although it was murder getting home because the trains between Oxford and Reading were all fucked up so we had to get a train out to Didcot Parkway and then back to Reading, which took about three times as long as it should have done. Pure ridiculousness.



In other news, Marcus and I are going to Salcombe in Devon on the 14th, staying for three days :D Granted, my family are also going to be there, and we're not even allowed to stay in the same room because my mother is being ridiculous and refuses to acknowledge that I am an adult in pretty much every respect, but meh, should still be really lovely :) Three days of walking on the beach, going on the boat, trying to fix the boat when it inevitably breaks down, sitting in pub gardens...lovely lovely lovely :) Then I may or may not be going back to Birmingham with him for another couple of days, depending on how many lectures I have that week.

To be honest that's one of the few things keeping me going right now; I felt really sad last night because I missed people and just felt generally down, so ended up going out to the woods with Chris and some of the others to smoke up, which is something I've never seen the point of before, and I ended up going inside after about ten minutes because I just wanted to be on my own and it was making me feel worse. Chris had a bit of a go at me today for not getting more involved since I've come back to uni, and I wish I could, I just don't feel like it sometimes, and I hate it when people try to pressure me into doing that stuff. I believe I do enough to still be properly involved, just not as much as I used to. I need that fucking lightbox to arrive soon, then maybe I'll perk up a bit and start acting more like my old self.

And I REALLY need Joe to stop playing shite music next door, it's driving me up the fucking WALL. I want to watch Juno and I can't even hear it :(

Good things about today:

1. My one lecture was cancelled
2. Bought a massive bag of grapes for 99p, ultimate healthy amazingness :)
3. Sitting snuggled up on my bed eating said 99p grapes, playing tetris and listening to Manics
4. Also bought an alarm clock lightbox off Amazon, apparently good for sorting the SAD
5. Signed the contracts for our lovely new house

In not so good news, I had to write two rather sizeable cheques to the letting agency and our new landlord. Job hunting tomorrow, and sorting out my overdraft. Or alternatively I might just go on an adventure to London to see my dad. Bleh, decisions.

Also also trying to subtly discover whether Marcus thinks Valentines Day is worth taking any notice of. Normally I wouldn't be too fussed, but this is the first Valentines Day I've actually had a boyfriend and I'm curious. I wouldn't want us to do something ridiculously massive or anything like that, the whole thing annoys me most of the time anyway because it's so stupidly commercial and big gestures just make me feel embarrassed and awkward, but it'd be nice to know whether he thinks it's worth acknowledging or not, just so I know whether I need to get a card or anything.

Oh well...it's not like we'll be together that day anyway, we'll both have uni, he'll still be in Birmingham and I'll still be in Reading. Sigh.

Bleh, not a good day.

Sakura looked like it was going to be a bit of a bust last night because Alex and I were the only ones there...we were the first to arrive, and approximately half a minute after we'd paid to get in I got a call from Andy telling us they'd gone to Q Bar instead. Bloody typical. So we decided to stay at Sakura, because a. we'd already paid, b. the music was awesome, far better than at Q bar, and c. they were doing six flavoured shots for £6. We had eighteen shots between us, danced very enthusiastically to Rage, made friends with some random girls who insisted on witnessing the whole shot debacle, then got a taxi home after an impromptu trip to Subway. And it was a really fun night, I felt a whole lot better for it.

However, I didn't feel so good after Joe and Ciara decided it'd be funny to keep banging on my door between 3am and 4am (as in properly hammering on it, with their fists) then running away when they heard me get up after hoping for the last half a minute or so that they'd get tired and go away. I don't often get really angry, but I seriously felt like killing Ciara last night; I've been getting so tired lately and it just makes me feel worse. I'm debating about whether to wait a while and then do the same to her; I know it'd be a really immature thing to do and all that, but she's been an utter bitch to me lately and it'd make me feel better. I'm such a grown up.

I've been pretty mopey today really; I don't seem to be able to get out of this bad mood, and I just feel unenthusiastic and unmotivated all the time. My doctor suggested last week that I could have seasonal affective disorder, because I felt pretty bad this time last year and I always tend to get a bit mopey during the winter months. I've posted on off_highstreet asking for any advice or people's experiences of it but I hope I start to perk up soon, I'm usually pretty energetic and upbeat so it's not that nice feeling like this.

Oh, and we're supposed to be signing the house contracts tomorrow but I can't find my bank details, and half the stuff on the form makes no sense at all. Me and responsibility don't go well together; I still feel like a kid most of the time. Kind of wish I still was one, in a way; kids don't have to deal with overdrafts after realising they don't have enough money to pay the rest of the house deposit. Sigh.

Birmingham was rather lovely. Although I was v. emotional and cried a few times, not sure why...think it was a combination of missing home, knowing how much this whole long-distance-relationship thing messes me up sometimes, and not really wanting to go back to Reading.

Met up with Jen for a bit though, which was lovely; we had tea at Cafe Rouge and chatted lots. That place always makes me feel like Amelie, even the music they play in there sounds exactly like the film's soundtrack.

On the whole, it was a really nice weekend; we went shopping at the Bullring yesterday and I got the Cath Kidston make-up bag I wanted from Selfridges, we planned on going to see Sex Drive at the Odeon but accidentally misread the times, so we just ended up getting takeout food and watching lots of DVDs. I finally got to see the new episode of Skins last night, which was better than I'd thought it'd be, we met up a few times with Marcus's friends Freya and Lizzie, who are both lovely, and generally spent a lot of time cuddling and sleeping because we were both so knackered. I slept so well on Friday night; it's so nice and quiet there, and I love waking up next to him. We also spent about an hour on Friday night cuddled up in bed discussing what we'd name our kids, which while being kind of surreal was also quite nice. Although he doesn't like many of my names, silly boy.

I miss him :( I nearly cried when I said goodbye to him at Five Ways this morning, and I actually did cry all over Irish John when I got back a couple of hours ago. I just miss people...I don't feel like I can settle wherever I am because there's always someone somewhere else who I want to be with. I even rang my mum for a chat but she didn't pick up, which was a bit saddening. Oh well.

Supposed to be going out tonight for Hayley's birthday but I'm really not in the mood, although getting all dressed up and going to Rock Night at Sakura does have its merits; the music's always awesome, although there's also a risk of me getting crushed by big hairy sweaty moshers...oh the joys of being an official midget. Before then I've got two assignments to do, a seminar at four and Emily's Malaysia package to post. Am also a little bit worried after realising that I haven't actually got enough money to pay for the house deposit and my accomodation fees...I wanted to stay out of my overdraft as long as possible but doesn't look like that'll be possible, meh.

I need a cup of tea. Preferably with Grey's Anatomy and a Jammy Dodger.

My god I am actually SEETHING. I cannot spend another night in this shithole, I need to get to Birmingham NOW.

I was woken up several times in the night by my INCONSIDERATE DRUNKEN HALLMATES who seem to think that a. screaming and singing at 3am is socially acceptable, b. walking home from town in the rain and the mud after getting chucked out of Dogma is a good idea, and c. that sleeping with more than one person in one night is a really sensible thing to do.

God I feel like such an uptight square right now, but SERIOUSLY, I know we're students but still. I was about ready to cry last night, I was so tired and I couldn't even sleep because people were singing and shouting right outside my door. Plus I could hear Ciara bitching about people in Joe's room because these walls are so ridiculously thin, and I'm pretty sure she was talking about me; apparently she has a problem with the fact that I get tired so easily lately, and because I asked them to please try and be quiet at 3am when people are trying to sleep.

Oh, and I want to watch the new series of Skins but the Channel 4 Catch-up site keeps crashing. Sad face :(

Everything about this place is pissing me off right now, eg. the fact that the kitchen's always filthy, my stupid tap which likes to shoot hot water all over me every time I switch it on, the stupid inconsiderate people, the toaster that sets on fire, the cooker that I can still place my hand on and not get burnt even when it's fully heated up, and the fact that I am PAYING for all this. I want to go home, to nice soundproofed walls and non-faulty kitchen and bathroom appliances.

In other news, had my doctors appointment yesterday - the blood test results came back fine, so they've put me on a different Pill to see if it makes any difference. Only bad point being that this one really messes up your periods, so I'm anticipating mood swings. Fun times. Oh, and I got 75% for my exam, which I was really pleased about. Now I just want to get to Birmingham and enjoy my weekend with Marcus, I need some time away, and soon.

I put down a deposit on a house today :D :D It's such a lovely house - overlooking the park, all big double bedrooms, two bathrooms, a new kitchen and a GARDEN, with a SHED :D Don't know why I'm so fixated on the shed, it's not like we'll even be using it for anything, except maybe as a place to keep Andy when he comes round. Oh, and it's round the corner from the Pub of Awesomeness we went to last night - ultimate win there.




God I love it. Really good for £75 a week too, although getting the money out the cashpoint for the deposit was bloody terrifying, I felt like I shouldn't be allowed to handle so much responsibility :/ Anywho, we paid the deposit and signed things (and allowed the creepy estate agent guy to take a photo of us "for the website", bleh) and we're going back next week to sign the contracts and give them another £275 each. Scary stuff.

Only bad point is that I am now pretty broke; paying the next part of the deposit may well put an end to my hopes of going to Reading festival this year, unless the job hunting starts to pay off. I had to turn down an interview for a job doing telephone campaigning for the university; it paid bloody well but the hours were too long, I wouldn't have been able to see Marcus or my family til mid March, which would have sucked majorly.

Meh, I don't care - we have a house, and I'm going to Brum on friday :D

Things appear to have perked up somewhat over the last few days. Even though I still look like I've been recently dug up thanks to me being so unbelievably knackered. Still, doctors appointment on wednesday to Discuss My Options following the blood test. Please lord don't let them be planning on sticking another needle in my arm, even if this whole thing has destroyed my phobia of them.

Have also come round slightly to the idea of living with the girls next year; we're going to see three houses tomorrow, when I should be in a seminar incidentally, but meh, I've done the reading. After today's trip to the Pub of Awesomeness down in Earley I've been reminded of why girls are actually rather lovely and living with the guys would drive me up the wall eventually, even though I still love them all to bits. Aside from Andy, who stole my bottle of Archers and is currently hoarding it in his room, the fiend.
Oh, and I got perved on by a scary Mexican guy in the aforementioned Pub of Awesomeness. Chris offered to pretend to be my boyfriend to get rid of him. I was forced to agree. Bad times :(

In other news, we were supposed to be going to a house party out in Earley last night; I dropped out at the last minute due to feeling generally shitty, despite having already got all dressed up in a lovely lovely outfit with beautiful red shoes, and instead stayed up drinking Woo Woos and watching Grey's Anatomy before witnessing the return of the lads - Andy was brought home in a wheelbarrow wearing a corset he stole off some random girl, and Chris was pursued by the police after stealing a roadsign. Living up to the student stereotype much?

Talking of student stereotypes, we are all living in complete squalour. I seriously don't know how my room gets this filthy; I am actually considering spending £22 on a DustBuster because there is dust everywhere and the carpet is currently covered in sugar (the result of trying to make tea while pissed). I can't even use the Henry Hoover to clean up because Henry is currently lying in a mangled heap in some bushes out on the quad after being thrown from the kitchen window on Monday night. Plus I have The Incredible Exploding Tap which likes to fire out massive bursts of hot water every time I turn it on. I can't believe I pay £1500 a term for this.

Lovely things: my beautiful new brown fake leather jacket purchased in New Look sale yesterday, going to Birmingham to see my lovely boyfriend next weekend, buying a 99p bright pink vinyl with some truly beautiful artwork on the cover, Andy painting my nails red while pissed, sitting up in bed eating HobNobs and watching Grey's Anatomy endlessly while contemplating the possibility of Marcus going on to be a brain surgeon like McDreamy...I live in a funny funny world.

( Have some London photos )

Been a bit of a shitty week really...moving back to uni was harder than I thought it'd be, and I still miss Marcus and my family like crazy. Plus most of the girls I live with seem to have chosen now to get really cliquey, and I feel left out, despite them apparently still wanting to live with me next year. It's because of this that I've been hanging out with the guys more lately; went to a vinyl sale over at Bulmershe with Andy yesterday, then spent most of the evening playing on Rock Band in Alex's room. Ultimate win, I think you'll find.

Managed to miss two doctors appointments this week due to oversleeping, which I think must be some kind of record, even for me...fortunately I was able to reschedule, they ended up taking some more blood and my arm is now partially blue. I hate my thyroid. I have another appointment next Wednesday to discuss the results with My New Nice Doctor, who actually speaks English and treats me like a human being.

Have spent a large part of the last 8 hours doing an essay that I was assigned before Christmas and which is due in tomorrow. The aforementioned essay is fortunately now finished, but sadly I have to be up at 8am to run across campus and find a printer, as the cable for mine has conveniently decided to vanish. Then I have an exam at 9. Which I am going to fail, mainly because I haven't set aside enough time for it. I'm trying to tell myself that this isn't so bad; after doing said exam I intend to have a long hot bath and sit in bed all afternoon watching Grey's Anatomy trying not to think about the hideousness of certain aspects of my life right now, ie. the fact that the people I could be living with next year are actually not that nice, and that I'm stuck here this weekend minus Marcus, whom I miss so much it's actually ridiculous.

I need a hug.